Five things on Friday #380
Pitches are like going to Mars. Did you know?
Things of note for the week ending Saturday July 13th, 2024.
#380
INTRO
Hello, and welcome to issue #380 of Five things on Friday. My name is James Whatley, my hair is too long, but I do have a beard.
On the beard front, I took some friends to the Scotch Malt Whisky Society earlier this week (Hi Julian) and one of our party counted the number of beards in the room. There was only one less beard then there was people (again, hi Julian).
I don't know what that says about men, or face-fashion-trends, or whisky for that matter. But still. It was interesting.
Someone I used to know often described the job of a strategist as 'separating the useful from the interesting'.
As an aside, I didn't like that person too much but I did like this thing that they said - so I kept it. It’s hard to take something from a situation like that. Sometimes. I guess.
Perhaps it’s like finding a pebble in a pair of shoes that hurt when you walk and deciding actually it’s the pebble that’s really nice and maybe it’s the shoes that rub [everyone] the wrong way so you chuck those out and keep the pebble instead.
Separating the useful from the interesting. It’s a pebble from another time and I’m passing it onto you.
How have you been? I was talking about some/one of you this week. To some dear friends of mine. Friends that value truth, safety, and vulnerability.
And I guess, out of that, I want you to know one thing:
You and me? We’re cool.
Like it or lump it. We. Are. Cool.
OK?
OK.
No further explanation required.
Where were we?
Wait.
Did I mention the hair?
I've struck a deal with the youngest about growing it. We're going to see who can grow theirs longest.
This seems silly.
But what is life for if not to mess around with the things that you are able? My sense of humour is very much grounded in the absurd. And growing my hair in a competition with the youngest is about the right levels of absurdity that puts a smile on my fave when I’m regaling the story to others.
Banter?
B A N T E R.
Anyway. That’s enough preamble.
I hope wherever this finds you in the world today you are safe, healthy, and at peace.
We’ve got a lot to get through this week (don’t we always?) so let’s get going.
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TO THE THINGS!
THING 1. TWO AI THINGS ACTUALLY OF NOTE
Some/most/none [delete where appropriate] of you have probably noticed that I tend to avoid a lot of the AI boringness in these hAlLoWeD pAgEs*, because I firmly believe it’s a load of twaddle and I’m not interested in any of it.
Reductive? Probably. I’ve spoken about this before.
A couple of months back in an interview with Mac + Moore I said:
Jess: What’s your view on the hot topic of Generative AI right now?
James: Right, Generative AI will not be here in five-ten years. That's my big hairy prediction. I think it's gonna be regulated to extinction because there's not a single thing in gen AI that hasn't been ripped off or stolen from somebody else's original thought.
So whether that's being regulated properly from a societal level or whether it's governmental - or artists, culture, the music industry, film industry, writers… whoever it is, it’s talent. One thing I've learned (and I've done a few government contracts) is that the government takes its sweet time catching up.
The EU has some strong momentum at the moment, mind. I'm sure there is an AI act being put through by Europe at this very moment and there's one that's just been submitted in Washington as well, which is about paying out license fees to people whose content has been ripped off. Or being able to prove where you got the content for your training models from.
And if you look at Steam, which is the shop front and platform for PC gaming, you can't submit an AI-made game to Steam unless you can prove where your training models were made. And if you can't say “they're mine and I can prove they’re mine” then your game can't be submitted.
I might be wrong. I probably will be.
But that point about EU legislation?
The EU legal framework for AI regulation across the EU/EEA has passed into law yesterday, Friday July 12th.
It’s a chunky read (good luck) so if you want a simpler life, smart person and friend of the newsletter, Tim Lion, sent me a decent/clearer write up from The Maples Group (PDF link).
The impact of this framework will be tested in the coming months (much like the Digital Services Act has been - more on that in the bonuses), so it remains to be seen how much longer OpenAI will be able to dodge the question about how much YouTube data it has stolen to train Sora.
Popcorn at the ready, gang.
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Secondly, Nilay Patel at The Verge, spoke to the CEO of The Atlantic about why they signed a deal with OpenAI about sharing content and hearing actual publishers talk about what this new future looks like.
Gen AI based on the copied/stolen creative output of others is bad. So… licensing it is better?
We shall see.
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*one of my readers put my newsletter through a summary machine recently and I don't think I've ever been more offended. The reasoning was well-founded and I didn’t object (my content is free, I publish it on the open web, and the reader had their not insignificant reasons to do this) but it made me realise that I have a personal issue with any of my writing being used to feed [horrific swear]ing AI. Combine that with the summary shared resulting all the personality and TOV being stripped out completely… well, what’s the jeffing point? Blergh.
THING 2. NASA CHAPEA VOLUNTEERS EMERGE
Did you see this?
The Crew Health and Performance Exploration Analog (CHAPEA) experiments(s) are a series of tests run by NASA to simulate what life living on MARS would be like for inter-planetary travellers in our future.
This week, four volunteers emerged from their 378 day stay in one of these simulations.
“Hello. It’s actually just so wonderful to be able to say hello to you all,” CHAPEA commander Kelly Haston said to the assembled crowd.
Haston and the other three crew members — Anca Selariu, Ross Brockwell and Nathan Jones — entered the 3D-printed Mars replica on June 25, 2023, as part of a NASA experiment to observe how humans would fare living on the Red Planet.
The volunteers grew their own vegetables, maintained equipment, participated in so-called Marswalks and faced stressors that actual space travelers to Mars could experience, including 22-minute communication delays with Earth.
Honestly, it sounds like hell.
But that’s the point, right? Can you live on a planet that doesn’t want you there?
Emerging from a room or rooms that you’ve spent hours and days in, wondering when you’ll see Earth’s daylight again.
It’s funny. I read the linked article(s) above and thought: ‘Yeah, it's a bit like when you're put on a massive pitch at your agency and you don't see your friends or family for months’
About ten years ago, when I was back at Ogilvy (and Ogilvy was still in Canary Wharf), I think we lost a whole summer to Netflix UK's first agency pitch (no intermediary, no experience, no work awarded). I know we were in it, I found out much later that Adam & Eve were in it (I wonder who else was in it - some of you might know?) but the mental scars of the Netflix pitch of summer 2014 will live with me to this day.
That summer we lost our June to get to the first client meeting: July 9th.
When I found this photo, I also found this one of our pitch team taken at the post-pitch lunch, 140pm.
We did well, I think. Got some feedback. Took some direction. And then I think they asked the final three agencies to go again.
You know that old classic. ‘Oh, can you go again?’
‘Sure! I had no plans for the summer anyway!’
So it followed we spent another month going again.
I take photos of pitch rooms. I’ve got tons. I think… ten years out.. I’m probably OK to share one of them from those days? (someone will tell me otherwise if not, I’m sure).
And hey look, here’s a Campaign mag (print edition!) front page from the same era.
Looking further, I think I found our second round pitch date - August 7th 2014. In the boardroom at Ogilvy Towers (I think we talked about ‘a Flixation’ - no I didn’t like it much either).
Then we waited. For weeks. To find out if we won the brief for their first ever UK&I campaign.
And we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And then they ran the global ad.
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So yeah.
Reading about experiments being run on humans locked away for days on end reminded me of pitch life.
When I originally wrote up the CHAPEA story above, my note to sign off this bit read: ‘The data from these experiments will inform humanity’s work for centuries to come’
I wonder if they’ll say the same about pitches.
Advertising. It’s not rocket science.
Sometimes we make it harder.
THING 3. THIS WEEK IN NOT-QUITE-GAMING-THINGS (BUT GAMING-ADJACENT ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN SKIP IT IF YOU WANT TO BUT YOU MIGHT BE MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING)
A different take this week.
I finally finished TOMORRROW AND TOMORROW AND TOMORROW and that final section of the book was just... wowsers. Keano bought it for me a birthday or so ago and I’ve been taking my sweet last time* reading it because I just LOVED spending time with the characters and didn’t want to say goodbye to them.
Read it, yeah?
Putting that book down on Monday and then immediately finding this piece ‘A thousand primers, not just one’, from designer of ‘Zombies, Run!’ and container of excellent brain, Adrian Hon, was a perfect couplet.
^ Honestly one of the most fascinating reads this week ^
Speaking of a perfect couplet.
July 1st, 2024:
Manchester United announces its football kit in Roblox.
August 4th, 2022:
Manchester City did the same (guess whose announcement I prefer).
I think I was on summer break when the Man City one dropped but it definitely appears in one of my more up to date metaverse presentations and the v/o for it goes something like this:
'What a missed opportunity by Man City to not embrace what the next generation of fans are all into and come right out and talk about Roblox. How obsessed they were with the ‘M’ word that they ruined the press release with this twaddle.'
It’s nice to see Man U has learnt from that lesson and just called things what they are.
Sense!
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While we’re on Roblox, here’s Adrian Hon again, this time on Threads, taking The Guardian to task on its poor reporting of branded Roblox worlds - specifically Wimbleworld - Go Adrian, Go!)
Related. ‘Understanding Roblox Metrics’ is a good one to have on file.
NEWS BITES
One of my favourite games of recent times, NEON WHITE, is now available on Game Pass. When this game clicks, it really clicks...
Wanna know how Bungie’s legal counsel caught one of their leakers? Bloomberg has got you covered.
Woah. The Nintendo Switch is Nintendo’s longest lasting console without being replaced (OLED doesn’t count).
WHATLEY’S PLAYLIST
Not much going on this week. Work and social life have been hectic. But on the backlog I’ve got:
The open beta of CONCORD this weekend (got it downloaded and will be booting it up as soon as I hit send on this today).
I’m still chipping away at SHADOW OF THE ERDTREE (incredible).
And I picked up the original OUTRUN for the Nintendo Switch for the grand total sale price of £1.79 (sale ends tomorrow - go get!)
As a side-dish for the above, a non-gamer pal asked me what they should play next - this was my reply. Did I miss anything?
What are you playing?
*’sweet last time’ is how my kids have misheard me say ‘Sweet ass time’. It has now stuck as a family phrase. You’re welcome.
THING 4. REVERSE ENGINEERING TICKETMASTER
This week’s THING 4 breaks a minor silver* rule I have** about FToF but I'm sharing it anyway because I think it's interesting.
“Perhaps I’m getting old, but I remember a time when printable tickets were ubiquitous. One could print off tickets after buying them online or even (gasp) in-person, and bring these paper tickets to get entry into the event when you arrive. They can be saved as PDFs and viewed on pretty much any device on the planet. PDF tickets work even if your phone loses internet connection. Paper tickets work even if you don’t have a phone. If you bought the ticket off the event’s official ticketing agency (not a sketchy reseller), you know for sure that they’re real. There’s no risk that your ticket won’t get you in. You can easily send them to a friend over WhatsApp, iMessage, Signal, email, or even by-hand with printed tickets.”
Yeah, that’s not the case anymore.
Now you get this stuff:
If you don’t know what this is, it’s ‘SafeTix’, from Ticketmaster. They describe it as ‘a new and unique barcode that automatically refreshes every 15 seconds. This greatly reduces the risk of ticket fraud from stolen or illegal counterfeit tickets.’ - apparently.
I say ‘apparently’ because the excellent cyberpunk at Conduition.io tears down why this is all a big lie.
Brilliantly and perfectly.
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*Silver rules. They're like golden rules but not as important.
**I have few rules about FToF. 'I've seen it more than thrice in my feeds' means I might choose not to write about it. I break it sometimes. But like I said, the rule is silver. Not golden.
THING 5. THE BEST SEAT IN A RESTAURANT IS BY THE BINS
The above named article appeared in the Financial Times this week and not only is it a great read but it also reminded me of a time gone by.
One of my first jobs growing up on Canvey Island (after a paper round, obvs), was working in the kitchen (and sometimes front of house) at Favorite Chicken & Ribs.
Between the main kitchen and the back office was our outside area. We smoked (sorry mum), we laughed, and we slagged off management between shifts / breaks etc.
I remember specifically having a double-handed sauce gun fight with one of my colleagues the day after we did a staff outing to see John Woo’s FACE/OFF at the cinema.
But the FT article really took me back there. The combination smell of bin juice, sweat, grease, cigarette smoke... that is what the break area of Favorite Chicken & Ribs smelt like.
Later, when I turned 18, I was head-hunted to work at the soon-to-be-opened first ever McDonald’s on Canvey. This is absolutely true. I was working late one night on a Friday, serving customers at speed at the till, smiling, getting food out - and I remember one guy being particularly friendly. He came back a few hours later and asked me what I liked about it. I said something like ‘I really like the rush - I work well in that; it’s fun!’ - turned out he was the new manager of Maccas on Canvey. I impressed and, along with offerinh me a pound more an hour than I was getting at Favorite Chicken & Rib, a few weeks later I was training on Big Macs.
The backroom bin area of McDonald’s was different but the same.
The smells were a potent mix of cigarettes, onions (if you’ve ever worked in the kitchen at McDs, you know your fingers always smell of onions and pickles), and… perfume, mainly.
It was cleaner (hey, we had standards), so the bin juice wasn’t there. But grease, sweat, hormones of teenagers in overdrive… that was what the back room at Maccas smelt like.
But what I remember above all else that when your time came to leave, and everyone did - eventually, you were taken out to the back area and absolutely covered in every sauce gun we could find.
Getting Big Mac sauce out of your hair is hard.
And that stuff stinks.
I love how the power of smell can transport you to places, to times. I haven’t smelt the backroom of a fast food joint in years (and it’s incredible that the description of one in the FT has prompted this response).
Looking back now, I have so many fond memories (and crazy stories - some repeatable, most not) of the three and a bit years I spent working there.
I kind of miss it.
BONUS SECTION
THIS IS THE BONUS SECTION. BONUS LINKS THAT BUMP US OVER FIVE THINGS BUT DUE TO TIMING AND SELF-IMPOSED WRITING RESTRICTIONS ARE LIMITED TO PITHY COMMENTARY ONLY.
ENJOY.
For the first time in years, the MCU’s Avengers have reassembled. This time for ‘The Lakota Project’. I love this.
I opened with an SMWS experience being very male. It isn’t always like that.
Apple Vision Pro is a) available in Europe, b) £3500 (lol, nope), c) not a VR headset (it’s mixed reality, BBC, do better). #Pedant
The always insightful photographer, Paul Clarke, on political appointments and the press photography used with them.
Professional Lunch x One Question. I'm a dear friend of both of these (and a board advisor for the latter) so can you imagine my happiness when they decided to combine forces? Goodness me. More here.
Gene Kelly on the Muppet Show is just lovely.
Brat Pack documentary ‘BRATS’ is out now on Disney+
If you’re not following what Meet the 85% is doing then you should probably change that. Enlightening.
I did not know about The Terminator animated show coming to Netflix.
For reasons I cannot remember, this week I learnt about the political status of the world’s smallest condominium, Pheasant Island (Spain and France share it, 50/50).
The great Terence Eden getting a DMCA? Surely not. This is as hilarious as it is mental.
God-tier Apocalypse cosplay.
Following on from the earlier mention of the Digital Services Act, the dying right wing social media platform formally known as Twitter had its backside handed to it be the EU this week. 6% of revenue as a fine? Well, I guess that’s one way of finding out exactly how much money the platform now makes…
I mentioned going to the baseball a few editions ago. Turns out quite a few other people went as well. Including Beth Collier. Who sent me this excellent background on where/why ‘Take me out to the ball game’ comes from.
Mike Sizemore is a writer, internet pioneer, and an old Tuttle friend (real ones know). He has a newsletter, rebooted from an old one, where he shares updates about his writing and occasional short stories. The most recent one includes one of those short stories at the end. It’s about the misadventures of a time traveller and I absolutely loved it. Go read it. Sizemore, you’re great.
YOU ARE REACHING THE END OF THE NEWSLETTER. MIND THE GAP.
Right friends.
We are at the end of the newsletter. This one went long. I thought it might earlier in the week when I read that FT article. Buttondown will tell me the wordcount in a minute - what do we think? 3000? Who knows. Who cares?
Let’s sign off with some reccos.
For Londoners, I dined at Nessa Soho yesterday (with three of the most brilliant people/housewives I know). The food was great and the staff were LOVELY - which counts for so much these days. They also make a cracking old-fashioned.
For UK spa-goers, DON’T go to Champneys.
DO go to Danesfield House.
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Speaking of recommendations:
I finished therapy this week - ‘Completed it, mate’. The conversation came to a natural end and it felt like the right spot to close. That might be why I’m feeling so reflective this week.
For what it’s worth - and for those of you know what happened back in February - it has been incredibly helpful and I’m in a considerably better place than I was.
Exploring shame. Forgiveness. What life looks like after you’ve been wounded and hurt. It’s been transformative.
Go to therapy.
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Until next time,
Whatley out x
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